My Social Battery Is Now Solar-Powered
We need to talk about the new charging requirements for the midlife social battery.
In our twenties, that thing was hardwired. We could go from work, to dinner, to drinks, to an after-party, to a diner at 2 AM to debrief about the after-party. We could run on fumes and free appetizers and still show up the next day ready to do it all again.
That battery is gone. It has been replaced with a much more sophisticated, much more high-maintenance model that is now entirely solar-powered.
It only charges in silence. It charges in the car alone with no podcast. It charges when the house is finally empty and you can hear the refrigerator hum. It charges on a slow walk with no destination, or on the couch with a blanket and absolutely no plans.
And it drains fast. One unexpected phone call can take it from 80% to 20%. One group dinner where you have to make small talk with someone who drains your soul? Zero percent. One family event where you have to explain your life choices? We are in the red and looking for the nearest exit.
It is not that we don't love people. We love our people fiercely. It is just that we have finally realized that not all socializing is equal. There is socializing that fills you up, and socializing that empties you out. In midlife, we can tell the difference in about four seconds.
The dinner with your two real friends where you laugh until your face hurts? That actually charges you. The obligatory event where you have to smile and perform being "on"? That costs you two business days of recovery.
So we are protecting the charge now. We are saying, "I would love to, but I can't that day" and not adding a paragraph of excuses. We are leaving early without doing a farewell tour. We are letting the call go to voicemail and texting back when we have the bandwidth.
If your battery is low today, you are not rude. You are not antisocial. You are just running on a more honest power source.
Go sit in the sun. Or the silence. Both count.
Keep thriving.
Tracy 💗
💭 Reflection: What is one thing this week that actually charged your battery, and one thing that completely drained it?