My Memory Is On Airplane Mode

We need to talk about the memory situation, because mine has officially entered its villain era.

I can remember the exact outfit I wore to my first job interview in 1996. I can remember the phone number of my childhood best friend. I can remember every single word to Waterfalls by TLC, including Left Eye's rap, which I will perform at any given moment without being asked.

What I cannot remember is why I walked into this kitchen. Why I opened the refrigerator and just stood there. Where I put my reading glasses that are currently on top of my head.

My brain has become a very specific, very petty filing system. It keeps everything from 1985 to 2010 in 4K ultra high definition. Anything from this morning? Corrupted file. Cannot be found. Try again later.

We call it brain fog, but that is too cute. It is not fog. Fog is soft. This is a full-on glitch in the matrix. You are mid-sentence, you are making an excellent point, and then poof. The word is gone. The name is gone. The entire thought has left the building and is now on a beach somewhere without you.

And the audacity of other people asking, "Did you try writing it down?" Ma'am. I wrote it down on a sticky note. Then I lost the sticky note, found it three days later stuck to my shoe, and forgot what it meant.

My phone has 17 open tabs, 4 reminders to do the thing I already forgot, and a grocery list that just says "the thing for the thing." My car keys have a tracker on them now, because without it they would have their own apartment by now.

We are not losing it. We are just running too many tabs. We are holding the grocery list, the doctor appointments, the work deadlines, the emotional baggage of three generations, and the exact location of the good Tupperware that no one is allowed to use.

Of course the brain is buffering. It deserves to buffer.

So if you walked into a room and forgot why, welcome. Sit down. You'll remember in about 20 minutes when you're doing something completely unrelated. That's just how it works now.

Keep thriving.

Tracy 💗

💭 Reflection: What's the most unhinged place you've found something you lost - glasses on your head, phone in the fridge, keys in the freezer?